Survival or Growth Mindset

Photo by Singkham: https://www.pexels.com/photo/clear-light-bulb-planter-on-gray-rock-1108572/

Mindset

Years ago, I read a book by Carol Dweck which I recommend often. The name of the book is Mindset. As an educator, Dweck noticed that students had one of two mindsets: growth or fixed. As an IFS coach, I notice something very similar. But I refer to them as growth and survival mindsets.

Growth Mindset

If you have a growth mindset, challenges provide new opportunities to change and grow. Challenges can inspire innovation and courageous risk-taking.  Challenging circumstances can even force us out of our comfort zones into new and invigorating environments that help us to learn and grow.  For some who live with a growth mindset, life without challenges is boring, predictable, and mundane.

Survival Mindset

But if you have a survival mindset, you try to avoid challenges.  From a survival perspective, life can appear punitive and overwhelming.  Challenges are the norm.  Those with a survival mindset have developed strategies to survive life’s challenges which have a tendency to wear them down and drain their resources and energy.  If you have a survival mindset, you have learned what to avoid and watch out for.  You are on the alert for what is safe and what is a threat.  And you don’t even notice opportunities.  All of your conscious attention is focused on dealing with the threats.  When opportunistic circumstances are viewed through the lens of a survival mindset, they get very little attention because what is important are threats – not opportunities.

Goals and Objectives

Voluntarily setting goals to achieve objectives requires a growth mindset.  While someone with a survival mindset may be willing to set goals, they may only do so if it is more dangerous not to set goals.  This is common in a work environment when employees are required to set goals.

Stress and Survival Mindset

Before doing my personal development work, I had a survival mindset.  As an employee, I was often expected to set and achieve goals.  This was very stressful for me.  I resented being asked to set goals and felt as if I was setting myself up to fail.  I deliberately set goals that I knew I could achieve or simply submitted goals that would invite the least amount of scrutiny from my employer and fellow employees.

I was less motivated by achieving goals and more motivated by what others thought of me. 

With a survival mindset, I saw goal setting as a potential threat.  For me, goal setting occurred as extremely dangerous.  I was afraid I might fall short, that I may be blamed or criticized for failing to achieve the goal, that I would be embarrassed or ashamed, and that I might be singled out as lazy or stupid.  Because I had these fears, I was disempowered by employer-imposed goals and goal setting and avoided participating if at all possible.  I avoided promotions, settled for lower responsibility, failed to recognize opportunities, and earned far less than I could have.

What do you believe?

Maybe the biggest difference between those with a growth mindset and those with a survival mindset is what a person believes about themselves and their environment.  Albert Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”  If someone believes they live in a hostile universe, most circumstances will occur as threats.  Someone who sees the potential danger in circumstances will trigger their sympathetic response (fight or flight) and will only have access to the inner resources that are needed to survive the danger.

If someone believes they live in a friendly universe, most circumstances will occur as safe.  This perception of safety gives a person access to their higher resources such as wisdom, intuition, inspiration, creativity, motivation, and enthusiasm.  This is the perfect environment for risk-taking and growth.

From Survival to Growth

If you identify more with the survival mindset, please don’t compare yourself with those who seem to have a growth mindset unless that comparison inspires you to do the work required to transform your mindset.

Those with a growth mindset will find designing and working on projects to be fun and rewarding. But they don’t have exclusive rights to the rewards of projects. Those who have historically lived with a survival mindset may benefit the most from projects by assuming this attitude: projects can provide opportunities to uncover and transform beliefs that put limits on the potential for joy and fulfillment

How do you change beliefs?

A belief is a thought that has been accepted as true and accurate. When beliefs don’t reflect reality they become problematic. They give us a false perspective. We interpret what we perceive inaccurately and we respond to that distorted view in disharmonious ways.

The result is some form and degree of pain, suffering, and disconnection. Computer program coders and mathematicians understand that the wrong input generates the wrong result.

Changing a belief requires courage and awareness. Courage is required to be willing to realize your perspective is off. With a powerful enough tool, your willingness can yield the awareness needed to reveal the contrast between a false belief and reality.

A powerful tool for change

For the first seven years as a life coach, I used The Work of Byron Katie along with traditional ontological coaching methods to help my clients change their beliefs. In 2019, I was trained to use the Internal Family Systems model (IFS) and have found this to be a highly effective method for changing beliefs and bringing about lasting change.

Once beliefs are changed, perspective clears up, and lasting change follows.